Menopause
Category: Theme Music
Subcategory: Novelty, humor and parody music
Long Description: Menopause, Theme Music, Novelty Music, spooky music, companies music and restaurant music
Keywords: Menopause, Suzannah Doyle, Sassy comedy novelty song about menopause -- with sections that are rappish, country westernish, madrigalish and rockish. 3-part harmonies by Vicki Hannah Lein, Barbara Case & Suz Doyle. A fun romp!, woman women music menopause comedy Vicki Hannah Lein Suzannah Doyle rap country western madrigal rock parodies, MENOPAUSE
Words by Vicki Hannah Lein,
Music by Suzannah Doyle & Vicki Hannah Lein
© 2004 Suzannah Doyle Music
Do you feel little bugs crawling on your body?
Do you want to disembowel your mate?
Then you’d better deal with being perimenopausal
before it's way too late.
Your symptoms might start in your early forties.
From mild to completely insane.
It’s not just your personal pathology
This beast you really must tame.
CHORUS: Wrap your claws around menopause
because it’s gonna happen to you.
Wrap your claws around menopause
or it will wrap its claws around you!
Estrogen, progesterone, too
in a pill, patch or a cream-
Anything to balance your mood
to keep you from wanting to scream
You can call a hot flash a power surge
but you still get wet.
No matter how many layers you peel off your back
You’re going to sweat and sweat and sweat!
CHORUS: Wrap your claws around menopause
because it’s gonna happen to you.
Wrap your claws around menopause
or it will wrap its claws around you!
The doctor says your mood might alter a bit,
but what the hell does he know?
You swing from wanting to cry until your guts stream out
to tearing the meat from his bones!
Your husband might be very understanding.
He might even think you’re still cute.
But before he thinks about giving advice,
he'd better just stay mute.
CHORUS: Wrap your claws around menopause
because it’s gonna happen to you.
Wrap your claws around menopause
or it will wrap its claws around you!
BRIDGE 1 COWBOY STYLE:
Oh, calm down now- you’re becoming histrionic.
It can’t be all that bad.
So sometimes you feel a little bit crabby,
and sometimes you feel a little sad.
It’s just a simple as mind over matter.
Think of something pleasant, like dessert!
You women make such a big deal out of nothing.
You cry when you’re not even hurt! pause for scathing look
CHORUS 2: Wrap your claws around men -then pause.
His life’s not worth a plug nickel now
Wrap your claws around men, then pause
solo: His liver will look good on my wall!
BRIDGE 2 MADRIGAL STYLE:
We’re at the mercy of our hormones.
Descant part:We’re --at -- the - - we’re at the mercy of our hormones
This is just a scien - tific fact.
This - is ---just ---a -----This is just a scientific fact.
No matter how many encounter groups we go to,
No matter ---how many --- No matter how many groups we go to
When our hormones are low
all our neurosis will show! So . . . .
CHORUS 3: Wrap your claws around menopause
It’s biology, a matter of fate.
Wrap your claws around menopause
don’t linger, start now, don’t wait.
CHORUS 4: Wrap your claws around menopause
because it’s gonna happen to you.
Wrap your claws around menopause or it will
wrap, wrap, wrap, wrap wrap wrap/
wrap wrap wrap wrap wrap --
OH CRAP! CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP CRAP -- CRAP!
its claws around . . . you !, Bass Electric, Percussion, Piano acoustic, Synthesizer, Vocals / Rap, Campy, Fun, Funny, Lively, Schmaltzy, Silly, Cheeky, Energetic, Childish, Bold, Broadway & Theatre, Slapstick, Vaudeville, Comedy, TV / Vocal, Film / Vocal, Flash Animation, Age, Body, Health, Men / Man, Society, Women / Woman, 2004, Suzannah Doyle , Vicki Hannah Lein, Suzannah Doyle, Vicki Hannah Lein
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