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Jokes, funny lines, hilarious skits



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BOB HOPE AT ST. PATRICK'S DAY PARTY - (by Hollywood Post)
Hollywood Post Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
44718 0:13   


COMEDY WITH HANK WILLIAMS - (by Hollywood Post)
Hollywood Post Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
52610 0:29   


DING DONG...AMERICAN BIMBO COLLECTION - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
2789 1:09   


YOU KNOW, SCOTLAND HAS IT'S OWN MARTIAL ARTS, IT'S - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
20784 0:03   


PIGFEET - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
13154 0:22   


COMIC CUCKOO SOUND - (by Pete Bax)
Pete Bax Comic Cuckoo mocking, Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,
289223 0:09   


JACK SPARROW RINGTONE ACCORD - (by Ringtone Theatre)
Ringtone Theatre Has Captain Jack Sparrow reached an accord with his cell phone caller? And what about the rum? Voiceover & script by Gregory Crawford; original music ("A Pirate's Life for Me") by Suzannah Doyle. Brought to you by Ring Tone Theatre. Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
30sec - Comedy,  
362622 0:29   


MALE: NEWS REPORT - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
21041 0:56   


MACARENA EATS LEAD - (by Hollywood Post)
Hollywood Post Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
11769 0:21   


IF WE WERE LITTLE PIGS WE'D SAY ... - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
13156 0:03   


JULIUS CAESAR PHONE MACHINE MESSAGE - (by Ringtone Theatre)
Ringtone Theatre Comedy Ring Tone of a phone message left on Caesar's phone machine. Voiceover and original music ("Roman Tense") by Michael Warner. Brought to you by Ring Tone Theatre. Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
30sec - Comedy,  
322243 0:29   


IT'S YOUR BIG SISTER RINGTONE - (by Ringtone Theatre)
Ringtone Theatre Comedy ringtone sketch of Your Big Sister Calling to annoy you! Voiceover, script and original music by Michael Warner. Brought to you by Ringtone Theatre. Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
30sec - Comedy,  
331114 0:28   


JEFF FOX: IF GOING TO THE BATHROOM IN THE MIDDLE - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
25240 0:08   


OLD MAN APPEARS IN COURT FOR SEX WITH 16-YEAR OLD - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
13182 0:34   


DUBTHEATER COMMERCIAL - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
2915 1:21   


HI, THIS IS MICHAEL BOLTON.... - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
2813 0:05   


JESUS: SECRET SERVICE CALLING - (by Ringtone Theatre)
Ringtone Theatre The Secret Service leaves a message on Jesus' phone machine. Voiceovers by Michael Warner and Eric Nepom; script and music ("Heaven") by Michael Warner and Suzannah Doyle. Brought to you by Ring Tone Theatre, Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
30sec - Comedy,  
346203 0:29   


ALWAYS REMEMBER THESE WORDS....SCREW 'EM - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
5483 0:03   


THONGS & BUDGIE-SMUGGLERS - (by Ringtone Theatre)
Ringtone Theatre Comedy sketch of an Australian guy explaining all about thongs & Budgie-Smugglers. Voiceover, scripts, and original music ("Blowies") by Michael Warner. Brought to you by Ringtone Theatre. Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
30sec - Comedy,  
332723 0:29   


DISCUSSION ABOUT ORAL SEX - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
13074 0:19   


MALE - THE STRAIN WAS TERRIFIC...IMPOSSIBLE...GOT - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
5484 0:06   


SELF ESTEEM: I DO NOT SUCK - (by Ringtone Theatre)
Ringtone Theatre Comedy Ringtone of today's Self Esteem Mantra: I Do Not Suck. Voiceover by Vicki Hannah Lein; original music ("Autumn") by Suzannah Doyle. Brought to you by Ring Tone Theatre. Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
30sec - Comedy,  
327785 0:29   


BILL CLINTON - WE NEED TO ACCELERATE .... - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
3648 0:04   


MALE: JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL, BOTH WITH A - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
10733 0:09   


THE EMERGENCY MORON SYSTEM - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
4413 0:07   


WHAT ARE YOU DOING TODAY? - (by Brenda Elthon)
Brenda Elthon Hillbilly gal in jeans and braids asks "What are you doin tuh-day?" in flat, Tennesse comedy accent. Regional humor made famous by the Beverly Hillbillies and Green Acres. Remember those funny tv sitcoms? A classic Americana form of good natured humor that never goes out of style. Come on, laugh, Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
534669 0:02   


IS THAT A CELL PHONE IN YOUR POCKET - (by John M. Peters)
John M. Peters Well, as a matter of fact, it is. Or is it. Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
343549 0:30   


WEIRD AL YANKOVIC AT HOME WITH MOM - (by Hollywood Post)
Hollywood Post Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
48062 0:20   


RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, IT IS A POSTAL WORKER - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
13292 0:06   


YOU GET BEER... - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
20118 0:13   


IT'S BEEN FUN 1 - VOICE JAMES - BRITISH MALE - (by Blazznet Talking Box)
Blazznet Talking Box This has been an enjoyable day. We have enjoyed ourselves, let's do it again sometime. Till next time. Deep and present voice, queen's English accent, professionally recorded with no ambiance to suit any of your production requirements. Talking, British / Male
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track (version 1) - Talking, British / Male
687756 0:01   
Variation A (slower n lower) - Comedy,
687761 0:01   
Variation B (slower) - DJ Sounds, DJ Outros
687758 0:01   
Full Track (version 2) - DJ Sounds, DJ Humor
687757 0:01   
Variation (slower 2) - DJ Sounds, DJ Vocal stingers
687760 0:01   


NERO'S PHONE MACHINE MESSAGE - (by Ringtone Theatre)
Ringtone Theatre Comedy Ring Tone of a phone message left on Nero's phone machine. Voiceover and original music ("Spaghetti Western") by Michael Warner. Brought to you by Ring Tone Theatre. Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
30sec - Comedy,  
318961 0:30   


BOB FROM ALPHA CENTAURI: NEED MECHANIC - (by Ringtone Theatre)
Ringtone Theatre Comedy sketch of Bob from Alpha Centauri calling for a mechanic. Voiceover and music "Oboe Chugger" by Michael Warner. Brought to you by Ring Tone Theatre. Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
30sec - Comedy,  
322984 0:30   


WIERD AL YANKOVIC THANKS HIS FANS - (by Hollywood Post)
Hollywood Post Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
48063 0:14   


YOU MEN ARE ALL ALIKE - (by John M. Peters)
John M. Peters Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
338418 0:29   


BARBIE IS BACK....BARBO - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
3540 0:12   


CAN I HAVE YOUR WATCH WHEN YOU ARE DEAD?? - (by Hollywood Post)
Hollywood Post Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
45696 0:04   


AND NOW THE FINAL ORDEAL ... - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
13388 0:04   


FEMALE: HELLO, OPERATOR, CAN YOU GIVE ME THAT 911 - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
7377 0:06   


SAY, DOLLFACE, PICK UP THE PHONE - (by Ringtone Theatre)
Ringtone Theatre 1930s Gangster slang (ala James Cagney) Ring Tone encouraging his "dollface" girlfriend to pick up the phone. John Jarvis, voiceover; original film noir music ("Courtroom Theme") by Suzannah Doyle. Brought to you by Ring Tone Theatre. Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
314128 0:48   


TESTING 1... 2... 3... - (by Music And SFX)
Music And SFX Testing 1... 2... 3... (microphone check), Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
487783 0:06   


JIMMY STEWART - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
3049 0:20   


I JUST KNOW ... PROBE MY ANUS WITH ALIEN BACKGROUN - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
5528 0:02   


SKINNY BAR, FAT BAR, FAT BAR ... A DOLLAR TWENTY. - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
17102 0:07   


MALE: COULD YOU PICK YOUR BUTT WITH YOUR NOSE , H - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
25839 0:04   


BARNEY THEME...WITH GUNSHOTS AND CHEERING - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
3714 0:25   


... I WAS JUST TRYING TO ISOLATE THE WORDS THAT AR - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
16852 0:26   


BLACK CAT JOKE - (by Hollywood Post)
Hollywood Post Bad black cat joke, Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
206073 0:11   


MUMMY JOKE - (by Hollywood Post)
Hollywood Post Joke about Mummies, Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
206068 0:24   


HEY, ARE YOU PONDERING.... - (by Ultimate Sound)
Ultimate Sound Comedy,
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Full Track - Comedy,  
5550 0:02   



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