I came home late last Saturday night after drinkin’ with the boys 
I tiptoed through the yard and nearly tripped on junior’s toys
Well I steadied myself and readies myself to great my lovely wife
And then I got what has to be the biggest shock of my life

That’s all she wrote just one little note there ain’t any more
She wrapped it up and she slapped it up right on our front door
Goodbye good luck you can have the truck and that damn old fishin’ boat
Thirteen years, two kids and a dog and that was all she wrote.

I don’t know why she left me--to me it just ain’t fair
The fact I stayed out every night didn’t mean I didn’t care
I mighta helped more with raisin’ the kids or doin’ some of the chores
But heck since I was never around she didn’t need no divorce

That’s all she wrote just one little note there ain’t any more
She wrapped it up and she slapped it up right on our front door
Goodbye good luck you can have the truck and that damn old fishin’ boat
Thirteen years, two kids and a dog and that was all she wrote.

On her birthday I bought her toilet water—at least a half an once
It might have been cheap it might have been late but it’s the thought that counts


I know that a man has got to treat his wife with common sense 
And make sure he is liberal with heart-felt compliments
So I told her that her cookin’ was near as good as moms
And if she’d lose some weight, she’d still look great
Well you’d think I dropped a bomb.

That’s all she wrote just one little note there ain’t any more
She wrapped it up and she slapped it up right on our front door
Goodbye good luck you can have the truck and that damn old fishin’ boat
Thirteen years, two kids and a dog and that was all she wrote.