Were Afraid to Have Christmas by The Hollytones

The Hollytones
By: The Hollytones
Catalog ID: 340751   Duration: 2:46   Tempo: Very Fast   BPM: 172   Vocal: Mixed Vocals
Genre: Comedy Music | Comedy music (pending categorization)
Social Media Link: https://www.audiosparx.com/sa/archive/Comedy/Comedy-Music-pending-categorization/Were-Afraid-to-Have-Christmas/340751
In this fast and frenzied Christmas song, nervous moms and dads express their growing concerns about the perils of celebrating the holiday season. Features a tense and stressed, paranoid ensemble cast performance over a frantic, chaotic backdrop of distorted guitars, electric bass and driving drums.   Keywords: Christmastime Xmas Novelty Satire Comedy Sarcastic Cynical Afraid Fear Fright Anxious Anxiety Panic Neurotic Danger Threat Risk Hazard Energetic Excited Rocking

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Long Description: Were Afraid to Have Christmas, Comedy Music, Comedy Music, pending categorization, music licensing, company music and cheap royalty free music

Keywords: Weird Al Yankovic Dr. Demento Whine Complain Christmastide Noel Yule Yuletide December 25 Winter Comedic Comic Mad Laugh Wacky Weird Demented Twisted Fun Irreverent Humor Silly Goofy Zany Eclectic Unique Parody Fast Quick Disappointed Turmoil Mayhem Paranoia Frenzy Agitation Suburbia Suburban Mistrust Whine Tension Scary Alarm Distress Frightened Uneasy Rowdy Phobic Hyper Quick Speedy Nerve-wracking Frazzled Fixated Uptight Franticly Chaos Drive Anticipating Anguished Busy Dangerous Disillusioned Dramatic Helpless Jumpy Lost Pleading Restless Rhythmic Spirited Strange Wild


We’re Afraid to have Christmas this Year.


No big, juicy turkey, no Dream Whip jella.
Why risk botulism, or even salmonella?
Christmas cookies are fattening, I’ll just stick with these,
Pass me another rice cake please,

Drive to the mall to buy presents your say?
But only a fool would leave the driveway,
There’s drunks on the road full of holiday cheer,
And hopped up psycho gangs wearing bandoleers,

The department store Santa may be a nice enough chap,
But my kids aren’t climbing on some stranger’s lap,
And the presents we buy and can’t afford at all,
Will only get stolen before we reach the car,


Someone save us from ourselves,
We may get mugged by a gang of elves,
How could we be so cavalier?
We’re Afraid to have Christmas this Year,


Life should be long, not short and rotten,
We want to live like fancy dishes wrapped up in cotton,
Who could be happy with danger so near?
We’re Afraid to have Christmas this Year,


Hey, don’t hang that mistletoe,
That stuff is deadly poison you know,
And leave that old Yule log right there on the lawn,
If there’s a clog in the flue, we’ll all be dead by dawn,

A string of Christmas lights is so merry and bright,
But what will happen if they’re not hooked up right?
The Christmas tree then becomes a ball of flames,
Then who can we sue? Who can we blame?

Watch out! Wrapping paper, you might get cut,
Or you could lose a filling eating that bowl of nuts
Imagine what would happen if an ornament broke – oh!
Razor sharp glass, landing in your cocoa,

Heart attacks, accidents and electrocution,
Robbery, mayhem, what an institution!
With all this danger on Christmas morning,
Shouldn’t there at least be a government warning?


Someone save us from ourselves,
We may get mugged by a gang of elves,
How could we be so cavalier?
We’re Afraid to have Christmas this Year,
(You mean we’re not going to have Christmas?)
We’re Afraid to have Christmas this Year,

© 1992 Eaglestone Music

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Were Afraid to Have Christmas

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Were Afraid to Have Christmas