V01-
Well, you know the one with the grocery boy & the SUV?
& she lingers at the back of the van dangling her jangling keys?
Well, it's true, I've seen it, I’ve worked it out;
& there's even more I could tell you ‘bout,
After these words from our sponsor flash across the screen.

VB01-
When the TV’s off & the room's too bright
& the real feels wrong like it’s day-for-night
& the pile of bills in the kitchen calls
& the neighbors are arguing through the walls,

C01- 
It looks so easy on the screen.
Why can’t I have that clarity?
How come my life ain’t nothing like
As seen on TV?
It’s on all day; it helps me be
Part of a world bigger than me.
How come my life ain’t nothing like
As seen on TV?

TA-
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
May contain, this may contain spoilers.
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
May contain, this may contain spoilers.

V02-
Or how ‘bout the one where the quarterback has done her wrong
& everyone could see it coming all along,
But no one ever tried to say a word
Except for that spot-lit chess club nerd?
On my TV, this one's reception always comes in strong.

VB02-
There's a car alarm from a block away
That reminds me to call my boss today
‘Cause I'm due at the registrar downtown;
Nothing like tickets to slow you down.

C02- 
It looks so easy on the screen.
Why can’t I have that clarity?
How come my life ain’t nothing like
As seen on TV?
I want to live in LCD.
Those tiny dots make sense to me.
How come my life ain’t nothing like
As seen on TV?

B-
I’m DVRing
The one where two wrongs
Make a right &
Then a left.
There’s two drivers glaring
& revving & swearing
At the light, &
You know the rest:
A race & a crash
& then a mad dash
To get away free
Before the cops see.
Reruns, marathons,
Or whatever’s on:
It’s how I cruise now
I got no car keys.

VB03-
There's a blank notepad sitting by the phone,
I should check if it still gets a dial tone.
If I had my license, I’d drive to the mall;
They got brand-new TVs the size of walls!

C03- 
It looks so easy on the screen.
Why can’t I have that clarity?
How come my life ain’t nothing like
As seen on TV?
It’s on all day; it helps me be
Part of a world bigger than me.
How come my life ain’t nothing like
As seen on TV?

Coda-
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
May contain, this may contain spoilers.
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
May contain, this may contain spoilers.
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
May contain, this may contain spoilers.
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
May contain, this may contain spoilers.