Too cool for school I'm just the latest thing
A revolutionary medicine
I'll kick the ass of any mobile phone
I'll save you money and I'll heat your home, baby

Too cool for school I'm just the latest craze
I lead the fashion and I'm all the rage
You just can't help yourself, you've got to buy
Just taste my coffee and you'll soon see why

I take plastic, I take cash
But with my system you'll make it all back
Like Solo to Leia before they were in union
I ain't in it for your revolution 

Cos I'm too cool for school, you know it could be you
Just get a lottery ticket or two
This latest formula is new and improved
Make sure you get what's coming to you

My latest connection runs like a dream
Download this album at a super high speed
Nothing to pay until next December
An offer exclusive to our valuable members

Cos I'm too cool for school, you are the chosen few
You've been invited and you're pre-approved
Just send this email to everyone on your list
An opportunity you just can't miss

You got my quote, stop fooling around
You wanna make money, better come on down
I'll pay all your bills, even cook your breakfast
I'll even pay off all your debt collectors

Cos I'm too cool for school, one and one makes three
Just drink this shake if you wanna look like me
This offer ends in a few weeks time
Remember terms and conditions apply