A salesman came calling said won't you be mine
I'll give you great riches if you give me some time
And all that I ask for is 10 pounds a week
A modest deposit and commission fee
I ask you politely to sign on the line
And thank you so much for your cash and your time

A few days later the goods did arrive
They weren't quite what I'd asked for but I gave them a try
But after a short time they all went berserk
The customer service left me in the lurch
A call to the helpline but still no reply
I'm lost in the call centre yet one more time

And still I am paying 10 pounds a week
The banks are all bankers they've all become thieves
The office of fair trading has had to resign
The watchdog is funded by weasels and slime
I'm left with these goods that are useless to me
And what is to come stuck in bureaucracy

A Salesman came calling said won't you be mine