Let's Skip to the Good Bit

Sometimes there are days I can do no wrong
Everything is great and we get along
Then there are the days when I'm quite the opposite
All I do is selfish, vain and incompetent

Only trouble is I can't tell which is which
Baffled and bewildered I stumble and twitch
Never knowing whether I'll be good as gold
Or cast out in the dog house begging:

Let's skip to the good bit
Let's skip to the spot where you think I'm great
Let's skip to the good bit honey
Let's skip to the part where I'm just first rate

Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Some days it's all cool and I'm good as gold
She tells me I'm an angel, dinner doesn't get cold
other days I'm hopeless and it's thrown to the dog
Who can't believe his luck, grabs my chop and runs off

So hungry and confused I retire to my den
To weather out the storm and live to breathe again
Try to make sense of all this Venus and Mars stuff
But all that comes into my mind is


I need to buy a gizmo that reads the female mind
A special kind of Kindle designed to save mankind
A one eyed wizard able to lead all of us men
Away from here: the valley of the blind