Me and my girl got in a terrible quarrel
When she fell in the toilet one day.
Cuz I didn’t lower the seat after doing my business
in the usual way.
Well, I got to thinking about all that she said, 
about how selfish and foolish was I.
I knew then and there that the only repair
Was to pack up and tell her goodbye.

   I told her, ”You deserve a lot better than me.
   The kind of a guy who sits down when he pees
   The kind of a life where you never have to lower the seat.”

All my drinkin’ buddies tell me, “Sit down on the loo,
It’s the only polite way to be.”
But a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do
So I stand up tall, proud and free.

   So darlin’ you deserve a lot better than me.
   The kind of a guy who sits down when he pees
   The kind of a life where you never have to lower the seat.

You deserve a man whose thoughts are far between and few.
You deserve the kind of guy who deserves a girl like you.

   
             You deserve a lot better than me.
   The kind of a guy who sits down when he pees
   The kind of a life where you never have to lower the seat.