I get no satisfaction from social inter-action.
I'm not a fan of the plan to hang with the dudes and ladies.
I've never liked a crowded room, reminds me of a sonic boom
Or the backfire of a 2017 Mercedes.
I've never needed face-to-face to feel like I have found my place.
My best company is my hand-held technology.

One time I dated - I think it's overrated.
Holding hands was nice but I prefer to hold my device.
Some people say I'm missing, a human touch and kissing,
But with an internet connection I get lots of attention!

Don't worry that I have no friends.
Or 'bout my live-stream that never ends.
'Cause I'm never gonna be alone:  I've got my telephone.   
I've got my telephone.

                                

I like to use Google Maps, and hundreds of my other apps
To navigate my way, day-to-day all around the planet.
I can use my camera.  To take some pics of Tamara.
Or maybe some other girl, I think she said her name was Janet.
Some people think I'm a freak, 
because I'd rather browse than sleep.
But let me tell you, I feel fine -  when I can live my life online!

Now don't you worry that I have no friends,
Or 'bout my live-stream that never ends.
'Cause I'm never gonna be alone: I've got my telephone.  
I've got my telephone.   I've got my telephone!