SMOKIN’ OYSTERS" (IN A HALF SHELL) – WORDS AND MUSIC BY MITCHELL TREGER
© 1994 Mitchell Treger 

Please hand me my pen or did I throw it in the dryer? 
Don't call me a liar when I say I'm frustrated 
I mean it, I'm not just confused 
I feel lost without money, ain't got no honey 
But I'm pretty good at getting stung. 

Now all my clothes are stained up with ball point 
I'd make a small point but I'm not sure if I should be 
Wearing the pants here. It seems such a bad year 
All the women, drinking, I know all that you're thinking 

It's such a sad story 
I'm sorry, I don't mean to bore you 
I'm talking blue but what I'm saying is common 
I put a lock on my mind and I'm prying it open 

I just smoked some oysters in a half shell 
Now I think I'd like to do some steaming with you 
I just had a mountain of my memory come back to me 
It's funny that I can't recall anything that bad at all. 

I just did some dancing in a night club and 
I thought that I was crazy; everyone else thought I was cool.
I just hit the hospital for volts, but I was told, 
“It'd be an overdose”, I need a shock like you. 

It's such a sad story 
I'm sorry, I don't mean to bore you 
I'm talking blues but what I'm saying is common 
I put a lock on my heart and I'm prying it open.