Were Afraid to Have Christmas


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Were Afraid to Have Christmas
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Were Afraid to Have Christmas
By: The Hollytones

In this fast and frenzied Christmas song, nervous moms and dads express their growing concerns about the perils of celebrating the holiday season. Features a tense and stressed, paranoid ensemble cast performance over a frantic, chaotic backdrop of distorted guitars, electric bass and driving drums.



WERE AFRAID TO HAVE CHRISTMAS   (by The Hollytones )
The Hollytones In this fast and frenzied Christmas song, nervous moms and dads express their growing concerns about the perils of celebrating the holiday season. Features a tense and stressed, paranoid ensemble cast performance over a frantic, chaotic backdrop of distorted guitars, electric bass and driving drums. Mixed Vocals, Comedy Music, Comedy Music (pending categorization)
Type Play Track Info Catalog ID Min:Sec Tempo & BPM Price Control
Preview Track
- Comedy, Comedy Music
340751 2:45 Very Fast 172   

Track Summary
Music Track Title: Were Afraid to Have Christmas
Catalog ID: 340751    ISRC: US5UL0785250
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Description: In this fast and frenzied Christmas song, nervous moms and dads express their growing concerns about the perils of celebrating the holiday season. Features a tense and stressed, paranoid ensemble cast performance over a frantic, chaotic backdrop of distorted guitars, electric bass and driving drums.

Artist or Group: The Hollytones

Keywords: Christmastime Xmas Novelty Satire Comedy Sarcastic Cynical Afraid Fear Fright Anxious Anxiety Panic Neurotic Danger Threat Risk Hazard Energetic Excited Rocking

Music Genre > Sub-genre
    Comedy Music
       Comedy music (pending categorization)
Extended Properties
  Duration: 2:45   Tempo: Very Fast   BPM: 172
   Arrangement: Band / Ensemble
   Instruments: Drums, Bass, Electric Guitar, Vocals
   Vocal Mix: Mixed Vocals
   Language: English
Album: Gridlock Christmas
Use Restrictions: Use in pornographic, x-rated, sexually stimulating or similar productions prohibited
Use in products or productions advocating racial, sexual or similar discrimination or bias prohibited


Moods: Apprehensive, Cautious, Crazy, Disenchanted, Disturbing, Escalating, Funny, Hectic, Hopeless, Intense, Lively, Obsessive, Playful, Pulsating, Scared, Strange, Suspenseful, Terror, Whimsical, Worried

Styles: Christmas, Comedy, Comedy / Dark Humor, Film Vocal, Garage / Grunge, Horror / General, Indie, Punk, Romantic Comedy, TV Vocal


Lyrics
INTRO:

We’re Afraid to have Christmas this Year.

VERSE 1:

No big, juicy turkey, no Dream Whip jella.
Why risk botulism, or even salmonella?
Christmas cookies are fattening, I’ll just stick with these,
Pass me another rice cake please,

Drive to the mall to buy presents your say?
But only a fool would leave the driveway,
There’s drunks on the road full of holiday cheer,
And hopped up psycho gangs wearing bandoleers,

The department store Santa may be a nice enough chap,
But my kids aren’t climbing on some stranger’s lap,
And the presents we buy and can’t afford at all,
Will only get stolen before we reach the car,

CHORUS:

Someone save us from ourselves,
We may get mugged by a gang of elves,
How could we be so cavalier?
We’re Afraid to have Christmas this Year,

BRIDGE:

Life should be long, not short and rotten,
We want to live like fancy dishes wrapped up in cotton,
Who could be happy with danger so near?
We’re Afraid to have Christmas this Year,

VERSE 2:

Hey, don’t hang that mistletoe,
That stuff is deadly poison you know,
And leave that old Yule log right there on the lawn,
If there’s a clog in the flue, we’ll all be dead by dawn,

A string of Christmas lights is so merry and bright,
But what will happen if they’re not hooked up right?
The Christmas tree then becomes a ball of flames,
Then who can we sue? Who can we blame?

Watch out! Wrapping paper, you might get cut,
Or you could lose a filling eating that bowl of nuts
Imagine what would happen if an ornament broke – oh!
Razor sharp glass, landing in your cocoa,

Heart attacks, accidents and electrocution,
Robbery, mayhem, what an institution!
With all this danger on Christmas morning,
Shouldn’t there at least be a government warning?

CHORUS:

Someone save us from ourselves,
We may get mugged by a gang of elves,
How could we be so cavalier?
We’re Afraid to have Christmas this Year,
(You mean we’re not going to have Christmas?)
We’re Afraid to have Christmas this Year,
(ohhhh!)

© 1992 Eaglestone Music

Extended Keywords: Weird Al Yankovic Dr. Demento Whine Complain Christmastide Noel Yule Yuletide December 25 Winter Comedic Comic Mad Laugh Wacky Weird Demented Twisted Fun Irreverent Humor Silly Goofy Zany Eclectic Unique Parody Fast Quick Disappointed Turmoil Mayhem Paranoia Frenzy Agitation Suburbia Suburban Mistrust Whine Tension Scary Alarm Distress Frightened Uneasy Rowdy Phobic Hyper Quick Speedy Nerve-wracking Frazzled Fixated Uptight Franticly Chaos Drive Anticipating Anguished Busy Dangerous Disillusioned Dramatic Helpless Jumpy Lost Pleading Restless Rhythmic Spirited Strange Wild



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Were Afraid to Have Christmas


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Were Afraid to Have Christmas

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